First things first...stop what you are doing and download or purchase (depending on who you are) the musical genius that the title of this blog is blessed with. Kevin Devine is pure, real, sincere. His heart opening prayer, "Lord, I know we don't talk much", made me an instant fan. Not to mention any of his other greats (like the cover of Brand New's "Jesus Christ" and "Cotton Crush"). Straylight Run is best described by my friend as "Ambient piano rock". "Existentialism On Prom Night" will be an immediate favorite, if you appreciate amazing music that is. I have not heard a song I don't like yet in my 1st time through their works, and find myself more and more drawn in to the stories being told, to the music being shared, and the lives being transformed.
If anyone figures out these things we call "emotions", please let me know. Because I don't understand them AT ALL. I don't understand how I can still feel a certain way after the things that have transpired. I don't understand why my heart is wanting more, when I know there won't be anymore. I don't understand this game they call "love", or why I always seem to be on the losing side. Am I playing the game wrong? Am I not playing enough? Do I just pick bad teammates? Or am I doing everything exactly how I was supposed too, and God is just using each situation to bring me one step closer to the girl who WON'T break my heart? That is a day I can't wait for. I hear people at work, or amongst friends commenting on how they don't want to get married ever, or that they hope it isn't for a long time. Why am I so different? Why is it that from the time I was 12, my greatest dream, yes even greater than playing baseball, was to get married and to have a family of my own? I still hold to that dream. I picture it in my mind almost everyday. Yet I feel closer to my dream of playing baseball professionally (which isn't very close at all).
I know that I am where I am because it is God's plan. I know that God directs my steps just like Solomon tells us in Proverbs, "A man's steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way?" Me saying that I don't understand is an understatement. It'd be like saying, "Babe Ruth was a power hitter and nothing else" (that was for you Brandon :)), and for all you non-baseball fans/losers out there, it'd be like saying, "The Beatles were good for their era". Get what I mean? lol I knew you would...anyways...back to the point. I know that God is the author of my steps though, and so even though I don't understand, even though I can't figure out what purpose my life has, even though I feel like I'll never get the two things I've wanted and worked for my entire life, I know that God will reveal everything in His perfect timing. I know that He will complete His work in me. Why? Because He loves me, and that's all that I need. Signing off.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Well i think that sometimes you have to go through a lot of heartbreaks to realize a good thing when you have it, so you dont make the mistake of throwing it away when it is actually in your life. God does know exactly what he is doing and even though its hard you kinda just have to float along ready for him to blow you in one direction or another.
ReplyDeleteThis was very well written though and im glad that you discovered that you enjoy writing so much! Its a good way to vent. I always like reading what you have to say, weather i agree with it or not ;)
Don't worry i will do my homework as soon as i get a chance and report back to you on it!
Hey man,
ReplyDeleteI've been through a break up recently. I understand all the emotions you are going through. I know that one of the most irritating things is the fact that you treat a girl right, and the girl loves God and so do you. And then it doesnt work out. And you ask yourself "how can it not work when we have the most fundamental, important thing in the world in common?"
It is never easy. But you have to feel empowered knowing that for every moment you spend praying about God's woman for you, that she's out there praying for you too. Maybe even right now.
I struggle with relationships, 'love' and all that jazz all the time. But in the end, I know that anything I've ever had with a girl up to this point is but a stop in the road on my way to my true love.