Overwhelmed

So this will be a little different than most my posts - I just feel so overwhelmed, I felt the need to let out some of the thoughts in my brain.

It's been almost 3 months now since [BLANK] broke up with me. I've been trying so hard to get over her; but I can't. It probably doesn't help that her brother and my sister really like each other. Then today, I see her for the first time since she told me she want to be just friends. Which didn't really happen; after talking maybe twice after the break up, she pretty much pretended I didn't exist after the New Year. Even though I've done nothing but support her decision. Maybe she wanted me to fight? Possibly. But she seemed so fragile and weak that it felt like fighting for her would just tear her apart. She said she need to figure things out: I guess that meant getting me completely out of her life. Seeing her today was awkward. On one hand, I didn't want it to seem like I was super excited to see her for the first time since December 24th, but then again, on the other hand; I was. The result of that combo was awkwardness. I wish I could have that moment over again :-\

*SIGH* I'm just so burnt out. Physically from snowboarding, spiritually from not understanding God's purpose for my life, and emotionally from still caring deeply for a girl who wants nothing to do with me. Part of me wants to try talking to her again, even though it would most likely end up in an unanswered phone call or ignored text message. But still at least I'd make an effort right? Or not; I told her when we broke up that I'd give her her space, and let her figure out whatever she needed to figure out, maybe I should just continue to let her live her life the way she wants: Without me apparently. But I also promised I'd always be there as a friend. If I don't say something now, I may not get another chance. How do I get rid of/ignore these urges to talk to her, to be her friend? (Which I would be totally fine with BTW - it's not like all I am wanting is a relationship - I'd prefer just a friendship in fact) How do I tell someone who doesn't care, that I care? What do I do?

"How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?" Psalms 13:1-2

"But I TRUST in your UNFAILING love;
My heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD for He is good to me." Psalms 13:5-6

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